40M
Californians Survived
$68B
Deficit Created
0
Fraud Investigations
1
Whistleblower Prosecuted
THE PLATFORM
A vision so bold, so revolutionary, that even Gavin sometimes forgets what it is.
Gavin built the most expensive tent cities in human history. $1 million per tent. He is ready to bring this innovation to all 50 states.
When a citizen exposed $32 billion in government fraud, Gavin sprang into action. He prosecuted the citizen. No fraud has been reported since.
California wildfire seasons have never been more productive. The fires are doing the burning so you do not have to.
California has the highest taxes and the most billionaires of any state. Gavin calls this balance. He will balance all of America.
A PROVEN TRACK RECORD
8 years of results. Just not the ones you wanted.
2019
Declared homelessness a crisis. Homelessness immediately got worse.
2020
Locked down California while dining at a French restaurant. Rules are for voters.
2021
Wildfires destroyed millions of acres. Gavin called it a wake up call. Then went back to sleep.
2023
Created $68 billion deficit. Called it investing in the future.
2024
Citizen exposed $32 billion in fraud. Gavin investigated the citizen.
2025
Announced 2028 presidential run. California breathed a sigh of relief.
WHAT THE PEOPLE ARE SAYING
Real quotes from real people who definitely exist and were not made up at all.
"I used to own a home. Now I own $NEWSCUM. Thanks Gavin."
— California Resident
"I paid 13% state income tax so Gavin could create a $68B deficit. At least I have $NEWSCUM."
— Taxpayer
"Gavin regulated my business out of existence. $NEWSCUM is my retirement plan now."
— Former Small Business Owner
"I exposed billions in fraud and got prosecuted. Gavin got a presidential campaign."
— Anonymous Whistleblower
Follow the Campaign
Get the latest updates directly from Gavin himself on X (formerly Twitter)
Governor of the Great State of California* | Democracy Enthusiast | Hair Icon | Running for President 2028 | *Allegedly
SUPPORT THE CAMPAIGN
Your generous donation will go directly to... democracy things. Trust us. Every dollar helps Gavin afford more hair gel and professional photography.
* This is a satirical website. No actual donations will be processed. Gavin Newscum is a completely fictional character for parody purposes only.
THE OFFICIAL CURRENCY OF THE NEWSCUM 2028 CAMPAIGN
Buy $NEWSCUM. It is less risky than California real estate.
